Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Random ramblings after another trip to the district

Day two in the red light district. I'm not quite sure how to word everything that's zooming around in my head. I keep replaying every conversation every smile, every stare.

My friends and I headed to the district just after dark. I was more nervous this time as I knew what to expect and the heart strings it would pull. The bar I sat at was pretty packed this time but somehow I was still able to talk to one of the girls after buying her a coke. She was incredibly sweet. She spoke english really well and told me her story of how she had to start work in the industry after her husband died. Before that she and her husband had been world travelers and had even lived in Europe for a while. She told me about some of her old dreams and aspirations but how now none of it will probably happen. She said all she has time for is working, sleeping and cleaning. That's right, most girls only get about two days off a month and "you can imagine all the spider webs that come after a few weeks!" (lol yes she too had a deep loathing for spiders) My heart went out to her as she recalled the pain of her husbands death, and said her only friends now are at the bar. It's like what can you do? How can you show her how much she's loved? We talked for just under an hour and when I left we hugged and she asked if I would come back. "Nobody talks to us. Well, they talk but they don't want to hear us talk" All I could do was tell her that our conversation meant a lot to me and just how valuable she was, hoping she caught it.
It's so frustrating. They do their job and you see them dancing and working the guys but when you actually look in their eyes you wonder how people can't see the pain oozing out of them. "It's their choice, they like it" can be the debate but really, most of them are working in the bars because in Thai culture the women must support the family and when it's not them paying the bill the families can work up massive dept. One girl was 19 and had only been working five days. This was her story as she had a nine month old baby at home and her parents dept to pay off. In desperation she turned to her last resort as most of the girls do.

Uh. Everything inside me wants to cry out for justice for the girls, how long will we let this issue go on, why the heck are we all so silent!
lol. I was planning on just saying some stories and leave out my emotions but haha, I guess i'm not there yet. We're heading out again tonight and probably every night until we go. lol my apologies for the randomness of it all, guess that's the nature of a blog.

Everything else is going great. I'm in love with Thai food even though my mouth hasn't stopped burning since I got here (slight exaggeration but it's still very spicy) My team is also amazing and we're having a blast everywhere we go. Oh! Please continue to pray for the kids. They're amazing and were totally blown away when we told them our God was nice and really liked them. However...translation has been quite the challenge. Only a few days left with this batch so please keep us in your prayers!

Thailand!

Hey guys, I made it to Thailand. Things are going really well I love the people and the culture, I'm melting in the weather but i like the heat so it works.
Yesterday was quite the day as we jumped right into working with the "working girls".
How to describe it I'm not really sure. I feel my emotions are still a little fragile and as I search for the words to describe what I saw.
The day began with worship as we joined all the women from the ministry we're working with. (They help women get out of prostitution and rehabilitate them into 'normal life') As about 70 women sang their hearts out praising God for his goodness, you could hardly guess that some of them walked the streets just 4 weeks before. After we were shown around the center seeing where the women now work, learn basic life skills and get healed and whole from their old lives of abuse.
Following lunch, we got a thorough orientation from the director and did a little tourist outing by the river side then proceeded to do a 180 from the morning and headed to the bars.
Honestly, I still just feel speechless. Part of me didn't know whether to weep or be sick or just feel numb. I'm still processing so please forgive the randomness but in short, here was our night.

In teams of four, along with the other ministry, we entered various bars at one of the districts here. All around were men of all ages, all nationalities and girls. All half naked, all fully abused. We entered cautiously, I've been researching this scene for a few years now but nothing ever fully prepares for seeing it. We barely stepped in and the air felt x10 thicker and you suddenly just want a shower on the inside. In the Buddhist religion they believe you're a woman because you didn't do enough good in your previous life to be a man. Women must obey and no matter what do whatever the man asks. When you look into the eyes of the women you see the pain and brokenness of that theory, poorly masked by make up and a string thong.
We sat in a corner and ordered some cokes. (Usually ordering non-alcoholic drinks spurs such curiosity that the girls come talk with you) Well it worked and a few girls came and sat down with us. They kept smiling saying how much they liked us, that there was something in our eyes. In their broken english and my four words of Thai we spoke about their kids, Canada, and attempted a Thai lesson (unsuccessful but they loved it) They were extremely sweet and even knowing I was surely not a client it was interesting seeing them rotate through me all wanting to ask my name and me attempt to ask theirs in Thai. The smiles on their faces were the only thing that kept me from bawling my eyes out.
After a while we went to a middle eastern hotel. When we arrived my team was confused as we thought we were going to keep working with the girls that night. Little did we know this 'normal' hotel lounge was bustling with trafficked girls. It was worse then the Red light as it appeared so normal but when you stop and start paying attention it was so corrupt. Here the women sat at tables waiting for a man to walk over and "chose them" to come "dine" with him. A friend and I got a chance to speak with a girl from eastern europe who was twenty two. She had just received a degree with computers and had been in here a month. Our hearts were completely shattered as she recalled her favourite things from home and her desire to return. She was so hard yet so open. I still feel nauseous thinking about her story and the other girls. Just the way the men entered the hotel restaurant scouting out a girl like they're buying meat at a grocery store. After spotting her they'd nod and wave and on command the girl would get up and head to their side. I was taken aback as I sat beside our girl and had a man summon me. I pretended I didn't see him until we were heading out the door and again and again he motioned asking if I would like to come sit. I was so annoyed and want to just blurt out "I'm not for sale and neither should these girls be" but instead just shook my head No and stuck to my girlfriends side. (Not wanting to draw attention to myself or the team)
With that said some of you might be a little annoyed also, but to think, is there any difference if the injustice happens to me or to someone else? Your daughter or theirs? (don't worry dad, I'm being safe)

So yes, there was our night to the bars. I still feel like emotionally I'm walking on eggshells with the matter. As weird as it is though, every time I'm faced with radical injustices like war, famine, poverty and now the sex trade, every time I feel I fall more in love with Jesus. It's like I feel every morsel in my heart shatters at the sights but I know that as much as it hurts me it tears him up even more. I witness their horror for a couple hours he sees it day in and day out. I love them in that place and he wants to take their place. It's unfathomable to me how good he really is yes, even in the Red Light.